You Can't Do That
by kenihiko
Summary: just poking fun of the chaos that is going around on some sites. i do not own the characters of this story. rated for cursing and adult situations. hint of 53 inside.


You can't do that

We find our friends continuing on they're journey to the west.

"Sanzo I'm hungry" Goku repeated for the hundredth time that hour.

"Oh shut up you stupid monkey" growled Gojyo.

"Just hang on Goku we're at the town" Hakkai tried to console the boy.

"Forget it Hakkai he'll be hungry half an hour after he's done. Gojyo pointed out.

The only thing that could be heard from Sanzo was a snort of mirth.

Upon their arrival they quickly found an inn to stay at that had the added bonus of having a restaurant in it.

Goku tugged on Sanzo's sleeve. "Come on Sanzo I'm hungry."

"Shut it monkey" he said loudly. Then began to swat Goku with the fan.

"You can't do that sir that's child abuse." A snooty looking lady butted in.

Sanzo turned toward her. "Mind your own business lady." And walked away with Goku right on his heels.

As they were eating the same woman pointed out once more. "You shouldn't allow that child to eat so much, he'll get sick."

"I thought I told you to say out of it."

Gojyo leaned in closely. "What the hell was that all about?"

"Forget it she's just some nosy bitch." Grumbled Sanzo.

Hakuryu dropped onto the table with a delicate plop.

"Animals should not be allowed to eat at the table."

Hakkai turned toward her. "And how may I ask is this your business madam?"

"It is just proper manners was the reply.

Sanzo shook his head and lit a cigarette.

"You should not smoke around food it is bad for everyone's health. Especially the child."

Sanzo ignored her. And Gojyo proceeded to light one as well.

The woman began to fan the air around her. "Could you please smoke outside at least?"

"Yeah we could, but we're not going to 'cause we're still eating?" Gojyo said sarcastically.

"How rude." She stated and stomped away.

Gojyo and Goku gave each other a high five and continued to eat.

Sanzo sighed when he saw the owner of the inn approach the table. Followed closely by the woman. "Here we go."

"Gentlemen I have to ask you to smoke out side, please." The look on his face showed he wasn't exactly happy about doing so.

Gojyo and Sanzo stubbed out the offending smokes. "Forget it." Sanzo looked at the others. "Let's get out of here."

Before they got to the door a herd of demons burst in. Sanzo's group had their weapons out in a flash.

"Great." Laughed Gojyo. "This'll make the monkey hungry all over again."

After slaying all the demons they heard a light tsking sound behind them "Such violence can not be good for that child.

Goku looked at Sanzo. "Why's she keeping calling me a child Sanzo?"

Gojyo grabbed Goku in a headlock and began to knuckle his scalp. "That's cause you're such a scrawny little shrimp." That started their playful bickering and wrestling.

One stray demon crawled to his feet and slashed Goku across the chest. As he was falling Hakkai rushed to his side and began to examine him by placing small touches to the injured area. "He's alright it just looks worse than it is."

Gojyo laughed. "It always has to be the monkey."

There was a loud gasp behind them again. "How dare you molest that boy when he is injured?"

Hakkai sighed because even he was tiring of the woman. "I can assure you madam I was in no way molesting him. I am a healer."

Then she turned to Sanzo. "I suppose you are some kind of priest?"

"What of it?"

"Well I was just wondering because we have all heard what you priests do to children."

"Look lady what we do is none of your business so butt out now." Replied a frustrated Gojyo who promptly lit another cigarette. Sanzo did like wise and the woman sighed heavily.

Sanzo turned toward her. "I can assure you I have no interest in that because I 'm a Buddhist."

"I figured you would have to be from some heathen religion." Sanzo's face began to turn red with anger.

"I believe we should return to our room's Sanzo." Hakkai tapped on the priests shoulder.

Sanzo nodded and the four made a retreat up the stairs.

Late that night Gojyo and Sanzo sat together on the small balcony of their room smoking and snuggling close. "That damn bitch is just asking for a bullet to the head."

"Aw don't let it get to you so much babe." He began to lay teasing kissed down Sanzo's pale neck.

"Idiot." Sanzo wrapped his arms around the red heads neck and kissed him deeply. "I suppose she'd have something to say about this too."

"Forget it lets get inside I'm ready for another round."

The following morning as they were eating breakfast the woman approached the table.

Gojyo sensing Sanzo's anger growing once more squeezed his hand under the table.

"What do you want now?" sighed Sanzo.

"I have just informed the authorities about what has been going on with the four of you." When an officer appeared she began to rattle of a long list of complaints.

"Sanzo I'm tired of her calling me a kid." Goku fidgeted. "It's starting to piss me off."

"So say something." Before Goku could move the officer approached the group.

"Are any of the things she's saying true?"

"What did she say we were doing sir?" asked Hakkai.

"Well the worst one is about the child here." He pointed at Goku.

"I'm not a kid." shouted Goku. "I'm over eighteen years old."

The officer made a scratch across his note pad. "That's one down." He chuckled." She also said something about immoral relationship between you sir." He pointed at Sanzo. "And you." He poked the pen in Gojyo's direction.

"Oh for the love of god." Growled Sanzo. "That's it. I've had it." He pulled out his gun and aimed it at the woman.

Before she fainted he shouted. "Shut the hell up you fucking bitch."


End file.
